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05/07/2006: "Good Luck and Better Neighbours"

It's Sunday afternoon when I take the Island ferry with Birthday Joe and friends. In my red shoulder bag I carry prescription sunglasses, my MiniDisc player, a bottle of water and a tuna fish sandwich. A few of the boys are wearing knapsacks, with beer and Frisbee Golf discs for the rest of us.

After the ninth hole, our group of a dozen breaks beneath a large willow tree. Bags are opened and beers get passed around and then so does a joint. The island trees begin to sway in hypnotizing rhythms.

As we stand on the twelfth tee, a couple comes walking towards us from the eleventh hole. As they near, I can hear the guy asking if anyone has dropped an MP3 player. Knowing I don't have an MP3 player, I say no, and then in progression we each respond with a no. Then I hear Claire ask me if I'm sure I didn't drop something, and it clicks that this couple has picked up the remote and earphone extension for my MiniDisc player.

Sure enough, it must've fallen out at the willow, and I chase after him to get it back. When I rejoin my group, they're all laughing because apparently Claire had asked me three times if I'd dropped anything, but maybe I was too involved with swaying trees to hear what she said. Then Joe's squeeze says I should've given that guy a hug, and Joe agrees and because it's his birthday and because everybody now thinks I owe this guy a hug, I turn and start jogging back towards him.

This guy gives me a 'what's up' look, and I say "Thanks very much, that was huge." And he smiles and I repeat myself, this time insisting, "Man, that was big." And he says "No problem" and I say that I have to give him a hug, and he concedes, and as we hug, a big cheer goes up from the group on the twelfth tee.

Later that night I stop by Dufferin Grove Park to visit a campfire celebration that I heard about through the TPS list serve. There's people playing music and women with jingly-bell skirts and others cooking hot dogs with sticks or chatting with friends or watching it all and everybody smiles. I'm offered the chance to try on a skirt, and I accept for fear of being a wet-noodle newcomer. When she tells me I'm the first guy to wear one tonight, I take off my red shoulder bag to help my range of movement. What I lack in grace I make up for in spirit, and the musicians seem to enjoy a laugh at my performance. Before long I've had my fill and I thank the circle for a wonderful time and wish them all goodnight.

It isn't till the next morning I realise I never picked up my red shoulder bag, and when I return to the park, it's already gone. I figure there's a better than even chance that my bag's in the hands of a friendly, but I don't know any of these people and my name isn't in the bag and I take a moment there in the park to let it go. After all, it seems like I'm determined to lose something this weekend.

On Tuesday night, I'm out at the Spacing launch and at the bar I recognise one of the guys from the Sunday night fire. I say to him, "By the way, you wouldn't have picked up a red shoulder bag?" and he's like, "Oh, yeah..." and before he can even finish I'm already hugging him, thinking of Joe and the gang and what a lucky bastard I am. And it turns out that a lady named Kim thought to pick up my bag, so on Friday morning I go, with a small thank-you package in hand, to Kim's house. And as she returns the red shoulder bag to me, I smile, and of course, extend my arms to give her a hug.

So that's been my week, losing things I can't afford to replace and hugging people unwilling to gain from my loss. Maybe it’s not the most intelligent way to connect in this city, but it’s an approach all the same.

Update: This afternoon, I met my mom at Hemingway's in Yorkville. It wasn't until afterwards, at Bay and St. Charles, that I realised I'd left my red shoulder bag behind at the restaurant. The waitress was expecting me when I returned to claim my bag, but the opportunity to hug her never presented itself.

Replies: 42 Comments

on Monday, May 8th, Eric said

Update: This afternoon, I met my mom at Hemingway's in Yorkville. It wasn't until afterwards, at Bay and St. Charles, that I realised I'd left my red shoulder bag behind at the restaurant. The waitress was expecting me when I returned to claim my bag, but the opportunity to hug her never presented itself.

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